The idea

So when I first heard about this folio, all I thought about was something sport based. I was thinking of doing some images based purely from remote firing (placing a camera somewhere near the action and hoping for the best) but when we were told to make it personal if possible I knew what I had to do. 

I knew I had an opportunity to show what it is like as a chronically ill person, but i wanted to show both the physical and mental aspects. The good days and the bad.

I have based my idea around a speech I wrote in year 12, 2007. The speech was about a quote “When nothing else makes sense, roll with your hunches. Go where things take you. The trip is part of what you end up being, even though it often takes you places that you’d rather not be going to. Reality is cruel, unforgiving. Forks in the road can knife you, stab you deeply and prick you into a conscious world where a blood-red sun blinds your eyes and reminds you how fragile life is.” Neil Lade

With this quote, I was asked specifically to write about me and the side that nobody really knew very much about. 

Some of you may, or may not know that I have been living with chronic illness for the last 20 years. I have chronic lung disease and kidney failure. I am on breathing machines and oxygen 

Back in 2008, last year, they were talking about finally doing a kidney transplant, the one thing, the pinnacle of everything that we have (me and my family) for the last 20 years. I have always known that a transplant would be a reality and we were just waiting for the kidney to deteriorate enough for justification for the transplant. Between March 2008 to December 2008 I had been tested for just about everything in preparation of the inevitable transplant. 

Late January something very un-expected happened. Nothing could really prepare me for what I was going to be told. I was given the news that I would no longer get a kidney transplant. My lungs are not stable enough to go off my medication and the specialists are concerned that I would not survive after the surgery had taken place. They gave me about a 10% chance of living which still to this day, i have considered as a viable option. It is still 10% afterall. 

After that day, I didn't know how to react, how to feel, and more importantly what to do next. I need to be in control of what is happening and more importantly, I need to know where I'm headed, both medically and personally. Im a control freak, people who know me will know that all too well... :)

So this is where my folio is headed. I will be documenting the side of me that most of you don't know very much about. 

I want to show that there are always 2 sides to chronic illness. There is the obvious physical difficulties that people have to deal with, but there is also the not so obvious, and not so discussed issue of mental health. 

I am struggling for ideas as how to go about doing it but I was heading along the lines of self-portraits and possible re-enactments of some situations to show you where I have come from and how it has changed me as a person. 

In the proposal for Silvia, I initially gave her 17 pages of background documentation, most of which was my speech from 2007 and a 5 page summary of my idea. I'm not sure whether or not to read the speech or post it on the blog. 

As for presentation, I was thinking of doing a slideshow with music that I have found that to me says it all. 

Comments would be really helpful as I am a bit stuck on how to go about it...